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I did not intend to write so soon, nor, to subject the poor chance reader to some "prose" in Scots vernacular. In fact when I originally wrote this poem a few years ago, around 2001, and submitted it to the European Union (EU) for corrective action, only to be told, correctly, that Scots is not an official EU language.
I bet it is better understood by the large contingent of ex-pats of Scottish origin, notably: New Zealand, ouch! They whip the home brew in rugby; Canada, Oh! their salaries and living standards are so much higher- USA, Australia, South Africa..! At the time I guess I went for food wine... & culture in France. And believe it or not, metallurgy was part of this scheme, I discovered the world of special steels and alloys; one of the widest ranges one can find, anywhere in the world, in one and the same plant cf. Footnote 3 scroll down.
With no further a-do, here is my piece called "Market gits Spice", addressed to a fictious footballer "Mr. Foot-ham and friends - any likeness to specific persons is probably only a source of motivation to write and fired entirely by jealously or other low instincts and may be termed a Revised Version of Foot and Mouth Disease). Some explanation for native english & other foreigner english speakers still (TDB-to be done but adepts can read on.
J A-No_Holds_Bard
(29/03/2001).
Footnote 1.
1. git's- USA for gets 2. gits- idiots 3. No-Not
4. wid gae the strangest-would give the strongest 5. whae- whom
6. ay ken hoo much ‘e-costs an’ to wham? does he know how much "he" costs and to whom - Double meaning : e-costs slash -(poetic licence svp, s'il vous plait-please)
7. weans - chidren 8. wee- tiny 9. Yur-you are & a' - all 10. goad! God!
11. Boab- Bob short for Robert 12. richt-right, truely
13. Ryan presses the wick -Homage also to Ryan Air which flies Beauvais Fr to Prestwick (Scotland)
14. Hommage to the late John White known as the of Spur’s & Scotland, nick-named the white ghost(premonition!)-sadly died young, on the golf couse, by a lightening strike
15. Thought for the day, BBC4 16. oucht - once
17. Taken from Robert Burns' Poem, "Auld lang Syne" sung the world over to ring out the old year (Hugmanay-NY eve- and herald in the New Year.
18. whit’s-what is 19. alaine- alone 20. tae pit- to put 21. canter hame- trot home
22. yu'r Brither noo-you brother now.
Footnote 2.
Some may have noticed, I decided to upload, today 27 Feb. 2008, this original little painting, which I like a lot, while I searched through my old files and CD back-up & old 3.5" floppies for this piece in order to review its relevance (from memory, my poem was an "angry reaction" one more sorry to say" to over paid sometimes over-rated footballers" and their paying supporters on the terraces who are often in shaky economic circumstances. Seems things have not changed, the wage gap has never been so wide, and spreading like gangrene, best expressed by such french commentators such as Jean-Francois Kahn (JFK) who points out, that a worker on minimum guaranteed wage in France (1280euros brute-1000euros net, 2007-08) would need to work for 15 Centuries, yes 15 000 years to obtain the annual salary of top managers -perks & gifted stocks. (called stock options) included. ie. from the time of the French King Clovis(485-511) to this day! as Kahn likes to add. Try the following link for more on the French History Time line[link]. JF Kahn,[link in French only,]
International Reporter, founder of the now failed"Les Jeudis de l'Informaton" & the sucessfull "Marianne", the only weekly information magazine financed uniquely by subscribers. JFK is the brother of famous medcine & genetician Axel Kahn and Biochemist Olivier Kahn)
Footnote 3.
Football, food wine... & culture in France and believe it or not metallurgy was part of this scheme. I discovered the world of special steels and alloys; one of the widest ranges one can find, anywhere in the world, in one and the same plant not to mention it’s own well equipped Research Centre and three big laboratories for product control:
Chemistry for raw materials and steel formulation process & product control,
Mechanical testing, destructive and non-destructive micro- and macro-graphic examination, and
Physical testing for cryogenic-dilatation and magnetic testing all in a little known village called Imphy, in France.
Such concentration, I believe, defies all management theory but one, seldom talked about by the Ivory Tower sad guy's; ie. "that, variety is the spice of life." Today if you are lucky you may find a similar set-up in a very few Big Outfits with Big R&D – Corporate Universities etc or techno-poles, innovation parks, centres of excellences, skunk-works, what have you.
For some, the working conditions, hot and difficult, danger never far-off, could border on "hell-on-earth." although pay was good for the period.
We metallurgical engineers (physicists & chemists) and managers, many renowned in there respective fields, fought hard to alleviate this. I wish we could have done more, for it was a metallurgist's paradise and probably still is despite the fall in popularity of these professions and trades.
The perks you may ask? As in all difficult & dangerous professions and trades there was a strong community spirit. Most management had a strong sense of their social responsibility as well as their scientific aims and economic and financial basics, in my experience.
This is not as unusual as it may appear for a plant, established by the famous and very able French Finance Minister Colbert (a protestant) on the banks of the Loire river, and run by the famous Henri Fayol, around the time of the 1st World War, both before & after.
The director of steel-making the three steel workshops (an ex-R&D man of course such was the technical level required) drove to the plant in his 2CV, lean on gas.
I and three other metallurgical engineers; the head of R&D, the manager of R&D for the Invar alloy family and the manager for powder metallurgy R&D and special powder manufacturing plant travelled the 15kms to the plant sharing the same car by rote.
No elderly men in Mercedes cars accompanied by younger platinum blonds, as I discovered later, around Aerospaciale & Airbus head office in Toulouse. I did hear that this may have changed by the more recent breed of visiters to the Cobert founded plant in Imphy.
Needless to say I am happily married, and still in France, a miracle?
I bet it is better understood by the large contingent of ex-pats of Scottish origin, notably: New Zealand, ouch! They whip the home brew in rugby; Canada, Oh! their salaries and living standards are so much higher- USA, Australia, South Africa..! At the time I guess I went for food wine... & culture in France. And believe it or not, metallurgy was part of this scheme, I discovered the world of special steels and alloys; one of the widest ranges one can find, anywhere in the world, in one and the same plant cf. Footnote 3 scroll down.
With no further a-do, here is my piece called "Market gits Spice", addressed to a fictious footballer "Mr. Foot-ham and friends - any likeness to specific persons is probably only a source of motivation to write and fired entirely by jealously or other low instincts and may be termed a Revised Version of Foot and Mouth Disease). Some explanation for native english & other foreigner english speakers still (TDB-to be done but adepts can read on.
Market gits(1) Spice.
Ye git’s! Ye bunch o’git’s, (2)
Ye git’s! Ye bunch o’git’s, (2)
ye mak’ me mad, blin’ daft.
Market gits Spice.
Mr Boot-ham, or is it back’m?
No'(3) enough cash, I’d brand ‘im!
Tae squander on spice and the likes, I bluster!
The kind that wid gae the strangest(4) an ulcer.
Market gits Spice.
Mr Boot-ham, or is it back’m?
No'(3) enough cash, I’d brand ‘im!
Tae squander on spice and the likes, I bluster!
The kind that wid gae the strangest(4) an ulcer.
I’m doubled up in shear pain.
‘Must be market’s shear strain.
The git’s, wid they feel ony shame?
We’ve heard how much he’s worth but to whae? (5)
But does ay ken hoo much ‘e-costs an’ to wham?(6)
REFRAIN: Ye git’s! …
The pair weans(7) the pair wee(8) weans.
Yur daddy ponded yur wee toy train
Y'ur(9) fired! Y'ur a’ damned fired by Goad! (10)
Naebuddy wi’ sense wid gae yeese a joab.
Is it Boab(11) or Alex that sets the wage?
The slate’s a nae Start, richt(12) Salty gage
Doon richt stupidity has nae boun’ or age
Busby’ s babbes must turn in their graves
A-spire,
Their weans waited near forty years save
REFRAIN: Ye git’s!
Fig’s guid, Zizou, and king ‘Enry too
Emperor Eric a’ways did his team true
Ryan presses the wick,(13) victory he riggs
‘Must be market’s shear strain.
The git’s, wid they feel ony shame?
We’ve heard how much he’s worth but to whae? (5)
But does ay ken hoo much ‘e-costs an’ to wham?(6)
REFRAIN: Ye git’s! …
The pair weans(7) the pair wee(8) weans.
Yur daddy ponded yur wee toy train
Y'ur(9) fired! Y'ur a’ damned fired by Goad! (10)
Naebuddy wi’ sense wid gae yeese a joab.
Is it Boab(11) or Alex that sets the wage?
The slate’s a nae Start, richt(12) Salty gage
Doon richt stupidity has nae boun’ or age
Busby’ s babbes must turn in their graves
A-spire,
Their weans waited near forty years save
REFRAIN: Ye git’s!
Fig’s guid, Zizou, and king ‘Enry too
Emperor Eric a’ways did his team true
Ryan presses the wick,(13) victory he riggs
Glides like the white ghost(14), a fine Gigg.
But a’ this dope, incense an’ spice? .
It’s lawfu’ but no’(3) quite nice.
I’ve got it, thanks tae a day’s thoucht(15)
That’s richt,(12) a chap broadcast oucht (16)
“In auld Britannia a man is mare concerned
Wi the inequalities in horsies, race banned
REFRAIN: (Ye git’s!…
Market gits Spice)
Than awe the inequalities in blessed mankind”
"A man’s a man fur a’ that an’ a’ that” (17)
So whit’s (18) the trouble, lay me alaine(19) ye top hat
Tae win the price o’ a packet a coffin nails
Or a pint o’ bitter tae pit(20) wind in ma' sails
Fur company, while a canter hame. (21)
Y'ur no' gonie put on me, ony blame?
"Fur ‘a that an’ a’ that it’s coming yet
That man to man the warld o’er
Shall brothers be for a’ that" (17)
So listen tae y'ur brither(22) noo
REFRAIN: Ye git’s!…
Market gits Spice
But a’ this dope, incense an’ spice? .
It’s lawfu’ but no’(3) quite nice.
I’ve got it, thanks tae a day’s thoucht(15)
That’s richt,(12) a chap broadcast oucht (16)
“In auld Britannia a man is mare concerned
Wi the inequalities in horsies, race banned
REFRAIN: (Ye git’s!…
Market gits Spice)
Than awe the inequalities in blessed mankind”
"A man’s a man fur a’ that an’ a’ that” (17)
So whit’s (18) the trouble, lay me alaine(19) ye top hat
Tae win the price o’ a packet a coffin nails
Or a pint o’ bitter tae pit(20) wind in ma' sails
Fur company, while a canter hame. (21)
Y'ur no' gonie put on me, ony blame?
"Fur ‘a that an’ a’ that it’s coming yet
That man to man the warld o’er
Shall brothers be for a’ that" (17)
So listen tae y'ur brither(22) noo
REFRAIN: Ye git’s!…
Market gits Spice
J A-No_Holds_Bard
(29/03/2001).
Footnote 1.
1. git's- USA for gets 2. gits- idiots 3. No-Not
4. wid gae the strangest-would give the strongest 5. whae- whom
6. ay ken hoo much ‘e-costs an’ to wham? does he know how much "he" costs and to whom - Double meaning : e-costs slash -(poetic licence svp, s'il vous plait-please)
7. weans - chidren 8. wee- tiny 9. Yur-you are & a' - all 10. goad! God!
11. Boab- Bob short for Robert 12. richt-right, truely
13. Ryan presses the wick -Homage also to Ryan Air which flies Beauvais Fr to Prestwick (Scotland)
14. Hommage to the late John White known as the of Spur’s & Scotland, nick-named the white ghost(premonition!)-sadly died young, on the golf couse, by a lightening strike
15. Thought for the day, BBC4 16. oucht - once
17. Taken from Robert Burns' Poem, "Auld lang Syne" sung the world over to ring out the old year (Hugmanay-NY eve- and herald in the New Year.
18. whit’s-what is 19. alaine- alone 20. tae pit- to put 21. canter hame- trot home
22. yu'r Brither noo-you brother now.
Footnote 2.
Some may have noticed, I decided to upload, today 27 Feb. 2008, this original little painting, which I like a lot, while I searched through my old files and CD back-up & old 3.5" floppies for this piece in order to review its relevance (from memory, my poem was an "angry reaction" one more sorry to say" to over paid sometimes over-rated footballers" and their paying supporters on the terraces who are often in shaky economic circumstances. Seems things have not changed, the wage gap has never been so wide, and spreading like gangrene, best expressed by such french commentators such as Jean-Francois Kahn (JFK) who points out, that a worker on minimum guaranteed wage in France (1280euros brute-1000euros net, 2007-08) would need to work for 15 Centuries, yes 15 000 years to obtain the annual salary of top managers -perks & gifted stocks. (called stock options) included. ie. from the time of the French King Clovis(485-511) to this day! as Kahn likes to add. Try the following link for more on the French History Time line[link]. JF Kahn,[link in French only,]
International Reporter, founder of the now failed"Les Jeudis de l'Informaton" & the sucessfull "Marianne", the only weekly information magazine financed uniquely by subscribers. JFK is the brother of famous medcine & genetician Axel Kahn and Biochemist Olivier Kahn)
Footnote 3.
Football, food wine... & culture in France and believe it or not metallurgy was part of this scheme. I discovered the world of special steels and alloys; one of the widest ranges one can find, anywhere in the world, in one and the same plant not to mention it’s own well equipped Research Centre and three big laboratories for product control:
Chemistry for raw materials and steel formulation process & product control,
Mechanical testing, destructive and non-destructive micro- and macro-graphic examination, and
Physical testing for cryogenic-dilatation and magnetic testing all in a little known village called Imphy, in France.
Such concentration, I believe, defies all management theory but one, seldom talked about by the Ivory Tower sad guy's; ie. "that, variety is the spice of life." Today if you are lucky you may find a similar set-up in a very few Big Outfits with Big R&D – Corporate Universities etc or techno-poles, innovation parks, centres of excellences, skunk-works, what have you.
For some, the working conditions, hot and difficult, danger never far-off, could border on "hell-on-earth." although pay was good for the period.
We metallurgical engineers (physicists & chemists) and managers, many renowned in there respective fields, fought hard to alleviate this. I wish we could have done more, for it was a metallurgist's paradise and probably still is despite the fall in popularity of these professions and trades.
The perks you may ask? As in all difficult & dangerous professions and trades there was a strong community spirit. Most management had a strong sense of their social responsibility as well as their scientific aims and economic and financial basics, in my experience.
This is not as unusual as it may appear for a plant, established by the famous and very able French Finance Minister Colbert (a protestant) on the banks of the Loire river, and run by the famous Henri Fayol, around the time of the 1st World War, both before & after.
The director of steel-making the three steel workshops (an ex-R&D man of course such was the technical level required) drove to the plant in his 2CV, lean on gas.
I and three other metallurgical engineers; the head of R&D, the manager of R&D for the Invar alloy family and the manager for powder metallurgy R&D and special powder manufacturing plant travelled the 15kms to the plant sharing the same car by rote.
No elderly men in Mercedes cars accompanied by younger platinum blonds, as I discovered later, around Aerospaciale & Airbus head office in Toulouse. I did hear that this may have changed by the more recent breed of visiters to the Cobert founded plant in Imphy.
Needless to say I am happily married, and still in France, a miracle?
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